I am just naturally a helper by nature I was always one that you could always count on for anything. I would work hard no matter what I did. I would go the extra mile and bend over backwards no matter what or whom it was for.
I am definitely a people pleaser. I like to make people happy; that’s just me but I soon found out the hard way that people will take full advantage of your kindness and will run all over you if you let them.
Know what you feel comfortable doing for other people and start thinking more about the things that you say yes to. Start being a bit selfish to a certain point. If it doesn’t benefit you in anyway just say no.
You have to learn to weed out the people and things that are there for you and will give back to you just as much as you have given to them; I mean it is only fair.
This is a lesson I learned the hard way people would pull and tug on you as much as you let them. I would take very job that would come my way. Say yes to everybody that would ask me to do something. I was running myself crazy. No time for myself to do nothing and at the time I was trying to start my own business all while working full time teaching and doing all of these other side jobs for others. I got so burnt out I thought I was going crazy.
Then one day after years of living this “yes man” life I lost it. I felt like I had lost control of my life and myself. I had gotten so sick; I was having chest pains and headaches. I would get these crazy mood swings. One minute I would be ok then I would get irritated for the smallest thing. I would just start crying out the blue and be very sad. It had gotten so bad; I was so depressed and at one point I was having suicidal thoughts.
I thank the universe I didn’t act on those thoughts and feelings I was having but things were bad. I had to do something and do it fast. I knew that my life was worth so much more then I was giving myself. I just didn’t know what to do. I am a runner and running always gave me time to think.
I was at my lowest point I had no money, my business was pretty much non existing, my marriage was in jeopardy, I was in debt up to my eyeballs. I needed help bad and fast. I went running one day and it was during my run I started thinking as always but this time it was different. As I am running a rush of emotion just hit me like a brick. I had to find a place to sit down and I cried like I had never cried before. Right there in the park sitting on the bench weeping hard in public.
After about 10 minutes of hard red eye crying; I wiped my eyes and my face and I said to myself now that was the very last cry you will cry about your life. I told myself you will get up finish your run and get your mind right. I had the clearest clarity that I had ever had.
I started surrounding myself with inspirational and motivational things and people. I changed my mindset and the way I looked at things. The one thing I live by is this if you change your mindset your whole world will soon change as well.
Stop and look in the mirror when you look in the mirror do you love the person looking back at you; if yes, then don’t change anything except for continuing to elevate yourself; if no, then you need to make some mindset changes that will start helping you change your life.
You have to love the person looking back at you in order to make positive changes in your life. Notice I said love not like right. I learned that I had to love myself in order for anything in my life to change. Truly loving yourself is apart of the positive change needed for a true mindset shift.
I found positive quotes, I would read positive books (self-help, business building, etc.), made my affirmation, and mantras (I posted them I my bathroom wall above my mirror and my bedroom wall at eye level). I stopped doing things that didn’t benefit my brand or myself in doing so my life truly changed.
I noticed things in my life changing money was coming to me, bills were getting paid (on time), job opportunities were coming to me, my business was getting business (yay!), my marriage was getting better, I was meeting amazing women, and, best of all I found me again. I was better then ever I felt fabulous and fierce and I loved me.
Look in the mirror and smile because the person looking back at you is amazing, fierce, and fabulous and you shouldn’t think any different of your self. I don’t know you personally (at least not now but I may meet you soon) but I know you are a strong, fierce, fabulous, beautiful, and smart.
So go ahead and cry I mean cry hard one of those cries that make your nose run and everything. Then clean your face and dry your eyes and start bringing in those positive thoughts and get your shit together and go after what you deserve because you deserve all that life has to offer you; but it is not going to come to you. You have to go and get it. That’s what I did and I have never looked back.
“Just watch, all of you men. I’ll show you what a woman can do…I’ll go across the country, I’ll race to the Moon… I’ll never look back.”
~ Edna Gardner Whyte